People face ageism and other intersecting forms of discrimination in many ways in our society. Women, by and large, are disproportionately impacted by ageism. From a young age, we are conditioned to believe that our value is tied to our youthful appearance and “marketability." As a result, the beauty and fashion industry perpetuate a narrative that keeps women in “the trance” of unworthiness.

Policies and services must be adapted to reflect our changing population structures to ensure that everyone, young and old, has equitable access to services and entitlements. Yet, this is only part of the tragedy of the ageism story.

Meet Kat Miller. Kat has an MA in spiritual psychology. For the past 35 years, she’s been counseling, teaching, and consulting. Her passion is using aging as a catalyst to breaking free from cultural conditioning and discovering truth and wisdom through our own direct experience. Kat also uses the medium of photography to express the inherent beauty of aging and impermanence.

Show Notes:

• Aging is a positive, natural, and beautiful process, but we’ve been enculturated to think otherwise.
• Ageism happens when people face stereotypes, prejudice, and discrimination based on their age.
• Because of ageism, older people are excluded from jobs and social services.
• It also increasingly underpins human rights violations such as elder abuse and financial exploitation. In many ways, ageism is the last socially accepted form of discrimination.
• People that are aging are generally slowing down, and in our society, that is almost taboo. In terms of enjoyment of life, however, it’s actually a very positive thing.
• As we get older, physiologically and emotionally, we are slowing down because and not quite so involved with performance anxiety that we've had throughout our younger years, which is very liberating.
• There’s no such thing as good or bad when it comes to aging. We tend to hold others to a measurement based on whether they are “aging well” because they can still do yoga at age 102, and then we idolize that as somehow ideal or a “good” version of aging.
• “Wow, you look amazing for your age" is an excellent example of ageism.
• Ageism is like the last frontier of social change that’s truly got to shift if we want to change how we live our lives and love ourselves well.
• Men are often considered “handsome” and sexually desirable well into their 50s, 60s, and 70s and are still considered for lead roles in movies. This is not so for women.
• The U curve of happiness is a metric of how we start our lives happy and carefree, and in our 20s, 30s, and 40s, we become less so, but then into our 50’s and up the curve trends upward again.

Links:

• The Paradox of Aging: the Happiness U-Curve - Margit Cox Henderson, Ph.D.
• Gangaji – Spiritual Teacher and Author on Natural Intelligence and Emotional Healing
• The Revelation Project Episode 44: Linda Freedman - UNACCOMPANIED Children: Alone in America
• Ashton Applewhite: Let's end ageism | TED Talk
• Kat's Heart of the Matter
• Work with Me | Kat's Heart of the Matter

Hil and I met years ago by coming together on a digital marketing project. This experience snowballed into an epic friendship that, in many ways, feels like it spans many lifetimes.

Our talks effortlessly flow, always feeling like 10 minutes but more often they end up being hours of deep conversation covering a myriad of topics. I find her endlessly fascinating because she’s a deep thinker with an endless well of insights.

Though I feel like I’ve known Hil for lifetimes, we finally only met in person last November in NYC. She’s got the gift of bringing peace and perspective to every conversation and relationship I’ve seen her contribute to and this one is no different.

Sit back and enjoy the levity and love that comes through in this beautiful woman’s expansive heart on a topic that so many of us struggle with - anxiety.

Hillary Larson had a life that most people might dream of. After studying at the BBC and the Royal College of Art in London, she moved to New York and landed a dream job producing nationally syndicated radio shows. She interviewed celebrities from Bette Midler to Ozzy Osborne.

She eventually moved back to the West Coast and found herself unexpectedly establishing a literacy program for gang kids, eventually working with both children and adults in the roughest parts of Portland.

Her success was evident on the outside. But underneath, anxiety was ruling her life, sometimes preventing her from leaving her own home. Until one day, after a thirty-plus battle with anxiety, she heard the words that would eventually heal her.

Show Notes:

• Anxiety is currently a huge subject, we are in extraordinary times now for many reasons and anxiety is a topic we can all relate to.
• Many people don't necessarily realize that the feelings that they have are anxiety.
• Anxiety can take many forms. If someone had asked Hillary if she had experienced anxiety she would have probably said no, but a culmination of events that include the death of a loved one and a terrible car crash brought her anxiety into focus.
• Anxiety can often feel like a terrible weakness, somehow a reflection “that you can't get your act together,” and many can suffer from it in chronic waves to the point of debilitation.
• The pandemic has tapped into collective anxiety and it's forcing many of us to look more closely,
• Sometimes anxiety can be a disguised gift that forces us to journey into the abyss to look more deeply and compassionately at what frightens us.
• Anxiety brought Hillary on a search that led her to a book called “The Diamond in your Pocket,” and it taught her the value of being with what is without needing to fix or make it go away.

Links:

• The Diamond in Your Pocket: Discovering Your True Radiance: Gangaji, Eckhart Tolle
• Gangaji on Facing the Abyss - YouTube
• Gangaji: Not Fixing Yourself - YouTube